In my throat

 Who can stop time from flying so fast? Can you even move by its side at the same speed?

Well, nobody can. If there were, it could be the descendants of Flash Generations II or modern age powered by the holy speedforce. But chill, i know this is not a good time to brag about superheroes that i fancy to become. I am just telling you how important time is. Cliche indeed. Maybe it's a common thing we often miss everyday. It's most likely thing we, Indonesian, ignore. To me, it is true saying that ignorance is a bliss. At the beginning of 2012, i was really zeal to reveal anything good in one year ahead. The fact, At the end of 2012, i was totally spaced out. It's like i had been drunk for the whole year. Yeah, i was died of euphoria. Kind-of.

Second has turned into minute and evolved into year. I feel so bad that i didn't seize it at maximum. As the time goes by, i look at the mirror and still say, "hey look at me, i'm still me. the dumb one who caught in confusion." I will always be that dumb one who slips in the second of reminiscing the past. I honestly don't look good with a Rolex in my wrist and might feel itchy because of that but truly, i want time to be at my side. I don't have to buy some fancy watches to know that time is a really expensive commodity. Yet, i am still incapable of valuating it. You are allowed to humiliate me for this matter now.

What was happened to me in 2012?
You must trust me when i drafted this writing the day after new year's eve. It's kinda a shame for me to have rethought this post and published it for almost three months. But i will be in a greater shame if i never publish this post after waiting so long. Maybe, it's the time that helps me to decide to post this today.

First, I graduated International Relations in early 2012 but still haven't got the scroll. You know my former department really sucks at making things easier. It is because i had to get my revised edition done asap. Somehow i never had a thought of completing it real soon. Apparently the revision team gave me to fix my thesis for minor improvement such as points, typo, and spaces. I wanted it to be perfect too but come on, i had had enough with my former thesis. In the end, i made it done in early 2013. I have the scroll in my hand. and yes, Mom and dad, your son is now having the bachelor scroll.

Second, i am now studying again by scholarship at my university enrolled in Natural Resources Management. I do have interest in environmental issues as i have experienced as a tutor for Environmentalism in International Relations back then when i was an undergraduate student. So, thanks God for giving me another opportunity to dig up my knowledge. I have another activity that i do beside studying. Last November, i started on air-session as a news anchor in a regional public TV station. I had passion in journalism and media. Previously i was a reporter in one popular magazine for teens in high school and it made me join the journalism body at my faculty. It was really fun to gather information and elaborate it into an enjoyable full writing. Sometimes, i was being pretentious and i could provoke people's mind through my writings. But you know, to be honest, being a reporter is not financially promising. My friends who now work as a reporter in national newspaper have told me that being a 'real' reporter is indeed really exhausting and challenging. They agree that being reporter is a stepping stone for their real career. They also said that when they're still young they want to chase their dreams. Until reality bites. Bites us really hard. I was hoping that i could be a reporter but seeing my condition now, that is i am studying again, i think i have to bury it for a while.

Third, i am over my past and heavy things that i have been carrying before. Past, wounded heart, unrequited love, bitterness of memories, and other tear-jerking moments in life. I am completely over it. You know, the idea of loving someone won't apply effectively if we don't start with loving ourselves first. Life's complicated yet beautiful. The only happy way to live it is to rejoice with life itself.

So, 2012 i was done with you.

2012 is so last year, not until a post about it comes up 3 months after.